Runners-Up of the Year

As I wrote before, there's no way Time doesn't name Obama "Thing of the Year." But let's suppose they all go coco-nuts and decide to pick somebody else. Who'd make a good choice as runner-up to The One?

Vladimir Putin--Bigger than ever this year, what with that whole invasion of Georgia thing. But he already won last year, and you don't win two years in a row unless you're Jesus Christ himself. (Man of the Year, 32 and 33 AD)

Henry Paulson & Ben Bernanke--Oh, Time would love to do something like this: big, close-up shots of a shifty-looking Bernanke and a sweaty Paulson, with a title along the lines of "The Wrecking Crew." Come to think of it, I should send that in. That might be enough to knock Obama off the cover.

The Economy--Hey, they named "Endangered Earth" Person of the Year in 1988. They can do the same for the economy.

Wen Jiabao--The Chinese premier had a heck of a 2008. On the one hand, there was the enormously succesful Beijing Olympics. But on the other, there was the Szechuan earthquake. Both made the news, though. Our first black president is a bigger story than even China's coming-out party.

David Petraeus--Probably deserved it more than Putin did last year. He's been out of the news for a while, something I would consider a good thing. The less the media reports on Iraq, the better things must be getting over there. Peace never makes headlines.

John McCain--In the interests of bipartisanship? Hampered by the fact that, hey, he lost the election. I wonder: if McCain had won, would they still pick Obama as Person of the Year? I'm going to say yes.

Michael Phelps--Hell, why not?